


flashing those eyes like highway signs

by outerspacelashton



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Bottom Luke, Idk what i'm doing, M/M, This is also on wattpad, Top Ashton, bottom!Luke, i tried okay, kinda angst ??, no michael and calum, not the best, there's some smut yeah, they don't fit in, this is basically just luke and ashton, this is my first fic on here, top!ashton, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2015-12-22
Packaged: 2018-05-08 09:33:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5492294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/outerspacelashton/pseuds/outerspacelashton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"light one up and hand it over." you said to me as you pointed to the cigarettes on the nightstand near the bed. smoking wasn't allowed in the hotel, you didn't care. as much as i wanted to tell you no and how bad those things were for you, i didn't. i reached over and retrieved the box and lighter. i pulled one out of the box, lit it, and handed it over to you; just like you said. you brought the cigarette to your lips and took a long drag. i watched as you closed your eyes and relaxed, exhaling the smoke as you did so. if i were to see anyone else do this, i'd probably feel nothing but pure disgust. but, it wasn't anyone else, it was you. you can almost make smoking look appealing. </p>
<p>or </p>
<p>the one where ashton and luke get together to fuck and luke ends up falling in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	flashing those eyes like highway signs

**Author's Note:**

> i just changed the summary of this fic to fit the style of my others. that's it, i was too afraid of what i wrote to reread over this again to change anything else. 
> 
> based off of 'is there somewhere' by halsey.

; luke ;

❝ i remember the first time that we tried this whole thing out.

we were in our hotel room, room number 93. i can never forget that number. or that room, for that matter. i remember sitting on the bed, watching you as you danced in your red tube socks. red is your favorite color, i remember that, too. you were dancing to that new album all time low had released, future hearts. it was entertaining to watch you dance. you did this weird jerking thing with your head that made you look like you had lost your mind. it was very weird, but, i loved to watch you do it. while you danced, you had this massive smile plastered on your face; so massive, your dimples showed. god, i love your dimples. sometimes as you danced, you would look at me. those times were the best because every time you looked at me, you looked so happy. at the time, i didn't understand why every time you looked at me, i got so hypnotized. maybe it was your eyes. your eyes - my god - they looked so vibrant. when you smiled, it was like lighting a candle in a dark room. it was like everything you looked at became brighter, happier. me included. i never thought that i'd love a pair of eyes as much as i love yours. they were - are - such a beautiful hazel color. fuck, i really love your eyes, ashton.

when the album finished and you were tired of dancing, you sat down on the bed beside me. i could feel the heat of your body radiating off of you. at the time, i didn't understand why i enjoyed every second of it. now that i think about it, that does sound a bit creepy. oh well.

you were a smoker. as bad as smoking is, you did it anyway, like the consequences of bringing them into your everyday living routine didn't apply to you. at the time, i didn't understand how someone could do that to their bodies; to themselves. to a certain extent, i still don't. i don't think i ever will.

"light one up and hand it over." you said to me as you pointed to the cigarettes on the nightstand near the bed. smoking wasn't allowed in the hotel, you didn't care. as much as i wanted to tell you no and how bad those things were for you, i didn't. i reached over and retrieved the box and lighter. i pulled one out of the box, lit it, and handed it over to you; just like you said. you brought the cigarette to your lips and took a long drag. i watched as you closed your eyes and relaxed, exhaling the smoke as you did so. if i were to see anyone else do this, i'd probably feel nothing but pure disgust. but, it wasn't anyone else, it was you. you can almost make smoking look appealing. almost. at the time, i didn't understand how you had that affect on me.

then - out of nowhere - you just rested your head on my shoulder, as you were smoking. on the outside, i acted calm. collected. like you didn't even touch me. but, on the inside, i was anything but calm. fuck, i was basically screaming on the inside. on the inside, i was shaking. my heart rate sped up and i could hardly breathe. i didn't understand why my body was acting so weird around him.

i saw your hand move up to your mouth in the corner of my eye, and, i followed it. i watched as you wrapped your lips around the filter of the cigarette and breathed in; removed the cigarette from your lips, and breathed out. i watched your lips the whole time, i couldn't help it. they just looked so soft. they looked like they would feel so great against mine. against my skin, too. that sounded like it would feel a lot better. i didn't understand why i was thinking this way.

mid-cigarette, you removed your head from my shoulder and turned to me. i was disappointed about the loss of contact, but, what you said after you removed it made the disappointment disappear.

"when i finish this cigarette, we will do what we came here to do." you stood up and walked into the bathroom, without another word. when you closed the door, i just sat there. i didn't know what to do. yes, i was excited but i was also really fucking nervous. but, all of my nerves seemed to numb when you walked out the bathroom and stood in the doorway. you were fucking shirtless. my reaction to you being shirtless must have amused you because you chuckled as you looked at me. you walked over to the side of the bed where i was. you stood in front of my legs, then used your legs to spread mine; stood between them when you finished. i went back and forth looking at your face and your legs as you did so.

you leaned down so you were eye level with me and told me, "this is right were it begins." your breath smelled of mint toothpaste with a hint of cigarette smoke. it was a strange mixture, it was enticing. then you leaned forward and pressed your lips to mine. i remember being right about your lips. they were soft - a bit chapped - but, they felt so great nonetheless.

i remember what we did that night.

i remember you helping me remove the clothes from my body as you left marks on my skin. every article of clothing you removed, you left a mark in that area. i remember watching you as you removed your trousers and tube socks, leaving you in your boxers. which wasn't fair, considering that you had removed all of my clothes and i was completely naked. i remember trying to cover up my cock, but, you moved it before i could properly do so. you leaned down and kissed the head, causing me to moan quietly. i remember when you removed your boxers and i remember that you stroked your cock a few times when they were gone, probably to give yourself some sort of friction. i remember wanting to replace your hand with my own.

i remember you retrieving the lube and condom that you had placed on the nightstand earlier. "i'm going to prep you. don't want you to get hurt too badly." i remember you saying to me. i nodded to you then relaxed my body (which makes the process go by a bit easier, i remember that, too), waiting for the prep to begin. i remember feeling happy and giddy on the inside when i realized that you cared for me. yet, i shouldn't have felt happy or giddy. it wasn't anything special. this - us - wasn't anything special. i remember promising myself that i wouldn't let you complete me.

i remember you prepping me. i remember the pain in the beginning of slipping a new finger in and i remember the pleasure your fingers caused when they finally hit my prostate. i remember basically screaming out in pleasure when it happened. i remember telling you i was ready. i watched you roll on the condom and apply lube to your hardened cock, my own growing harder as i watched your hands work. i remember you kissing my lips as you positioned yourself at my entrance before pushing in. i remember the slight burn of the stretch; i also remember kind of liking the burn. i remember the face you made when you bottomed out. fuck, i remember wishing i had a camera so i could take a picture. i still wish i had a camera, to be honest.

i remember gripping onto the white sheets that we were laying on as you started to move inside of me. i remember wrapping my legs around your waist, before you gripped my hips so hard i'm sure they left bruises. you would bite and mark up my neck, my collarbone, my chest, wherever your mouth could reach as you drove your cock deeper into me, faster and faster. i remember thinking that nothing could get better than this. i remember you proving that thought wrong when you changed the direction of your thrusts, hitting my prostate dead on. i remember fitting my head in the crook of your neck to muffle the loud moan that left my mouth.

i remember you asking me, "does that feel good, baby?" i couldn't even talk because fuck, everything felt so good and fuck, you were technically abusing my prostate and fuck fuck fuck. i remember moaning a small "fuck" because i didn't know what else to say. you chuckled at that. i never thought i was the 'funny' type. "i'll take that as a 'yes'." you said. i remember you saying, "shit, you feel so good. so tight around me like this." i remember my breath hitching, and i also remember my poor, ignored cock getting even harder. i didn't think that was possible, at the moment.

i remember you finally giving my cock some attention and wrapping your hand around it, pumping it slowly. i remember being so close - so close - after you touched me. i could tell you were close, too by the way your thrusts became sloppy and less consistent. i remember you pumping your hand faster up and down my cock, your thrusts speeding up to match. you whispered encouraging things like "come on, baby. so good." and "cum for me, you can do it." even though it made me feel a bit like a child, i really liked it. probably a lot more than i should've.

i remember squeezing my eyes shut and moaning your name as i orgasmed, the waves of euphoria washing over me. a few more strong thrusts and you reached your high, too. i remember you slowly pulling out, being that we were both oversensitive. you removed and threw away the condom them cleaned up the mess with the tissues on the nightstand.

i remember going to sleep in your arms (you said you needed a 'cuddly buddy').

i remember waking up, well rested, and alone. you had left me. i knew i shouldn't have felt hurt, i shouldn't have felt sad. but i did and i was, and i remember being mad at myself for feeling that way. i remember taking a shower that morning. i had some trouble doing that though, i was still sore from the night before. i remember getting out the shower and seeing a piece of paper where you were laying the night before. the paper said, 'call me when you're feeling lonely ;)' and a number that was most likely yours. i remember putting the paper on the nightstand beside my phone before i put my clothes on, gathered my belongings, and left the hotel.

i remember two days later, i was 'lonely' again and i didn't feel up to going clubbing like i did the first time i met you. over those two days, i realized that i didn't want to end it whatever we were. i wanted it to go on, to continue. at the time, though, i didn't think that it was as serious as it actually is. i thought i just wanted a fuck buddy, someone i could go to for meaningless sex without the hassle of finding someone new every time i got horny and couldn't fix the problem with just my hand. boy, was i wrong.

i remember calling you that night, trying very hard not to let it show that i didn't want to let this - us - go. you seemed as if you couldn't tell. i remember asking you "is there somewhere you could meet me?" you said we could go to the hotel we went to the first time. we hung up and that was that until that night.

we met up at the hotel, somehow getting room 93 again. what a coincidence, i thought. that night we had sex again, like we intended. i remember clutching your arms firmly as you fucked deep into me, i remember feeling all the pain and ailing leave my body as you did so. if i didn't know any better, i'd say that this time was better than last time.

after we reached our highs and cleaned up, you didn't go to sleep like you did last time. you said that you wanted to write about me. i remember groaning because all i wanted was to go to sleep. i remember you saying please over and over again until i said 'fine'. you smiled at me before you got up to retrieve what looked like a journal and a pen from the bag that you brought with you.  
i remember watching you as you watched me, probably getting inspiration for whatever you were about to write. i remember the face you made when you got an idea of what to write. i asked you what you were writing, you smiled at me and said poetry. i nodded and let you continue doing what you were doing. i don't remember what happened that night after that point because i had fallen asleep. i'm sorry about that.

that morning, i woke up alone again, but, you had left me the poem. i remember reading it and i remember feeling this warmth in my heart when i finished it. that day when i got home, i placed it on the nightstand in my room.

i don't necessarily remember when i decided that continuing to 'see' you was a bad idea. i didn't understand it actually. i claimed that i wanted this to continue, then my mind just suddenly tells me no? i didn't understand it, but, i still listened to my mind and stopped 'seeing' you.

i tried. i tried so fucking hard to get you out of my mind, but, you were stuck to my brain. we've only been together two times, both to fuck, and you already had me wrapped around your fucking finger. i slept with other guys, none of them could measure up to you. sure, they got rid of the need to get fucked, they still weren't as satisfying as you are. those nights were the nights where i would go home, cry, and feel sorry for myself because i was letting some stranger by the name of ashton take over my life.

i remember getting sick of trying to stop 'seeing' you. i had to meet up with you again, had to see you again. this time not to fuck. that was my intention, at least. i needed to talk to you, needed to tell you how i felt about you. i felt like i would explode if i didn't. ❞

; third person ;

luke stopped talking, his eyes starting to tear up as he looked down at his hands instead of the man who was sitting in front of him, curiosity all over the man's face.

"well?" ashton asked as he looked at luke. luke scoffed and wiped the tears under his eyes. he looked ashton in his eyes.

"i fell in love. i didn't know it, but, i did and i'm so sorry. fuck, i'm so sorry. i didn't mean to. i didn't--" luke let out a sob which had ashton rushing over and comforting him. ashton positioned luke to where he was straddling his hips and let him cry on his shoulder, gently running his hand through the blond's hair, calming luke down.

once luke regained his composure, he sat up and looked at ashton. "it's your fault, you know?" luke hid his face in the crook of ashton's neck. ashton rubbed up and down luke's arms. "how so?"

"the way you treated me. the two days that we 'saw' each other, i felt content. satisfied. appreciated. loved. to me, you were looking like you had fallen in love. with me." ashton wrapped his arms around luke. luke snuggled his head further into ashton's neck, finding the warmth of the skin there very welcoming.

"ashton?"

"yeah?"

"was i wrong?" ashton furrowed his eyebrows and cocked his head a bit to the side.

"wrong about what?" luke inhaled deeply then exhaled, the gesture tickling ashton's neck.

"about you falling in love. with me. was i wrong?" ashton closed his eyes and rested his head on luke's.

"i don't know, luke." luke nodded in understanding, some tears escaping his eyes again. ashton rubbed circles in the other man's back, unable to do anything else to help. he wasn't going to lie, he had feelings for luke. he just wouldn't say he's in love with luke.

"could we pretend?" luke mumbled.

"huh?" luke sat up and looked at ashton.

"could we pretend that we're in love?" ashton brought his hands up to cup luke's face, his thumbs feeling over the skin of luke's jaw. ashton thought about it, the pros, the con's, everything. he nodded furiously, trying to fight the tears that started to fall as he stared at the man in his lap.

"yeah. yeah, we can." luke chuckled nervously and smiled, nodding along slowly with ashton. ashton pulled luke's face towards his and kissed him passionately, desperately trying to show luke that he cared, that something was there. the kiss was needy but passionate, lustful but sweet, along with the taste of tears and a faint twist of cigarette. the two clung to each other; living, thinking, breathing off of each other. fuck, they needed each other, no matter what they said to try and deny it.

the two pulled away at the same time, breathing heavily; the force and power of the kiss taking their breath away. they left their foreheads touching, not wanting to be away from each other for too long.

"can we cuddle?" luke asked ashton. ashton kissed luke's nose before nodding.

"yeah, sure, baby." luke whimpered at the name. not in a pleasured way; more in a pained way. ashton pulled luke off his lap, laying him down on the bed. he removed the blond's clothes, all except his boxers. he did the same to himself, throwing all the clothes, luke's included, on the floor carelessly. luke had gotten under the duvet spread across the hotel bed of room 93. (the fact that they got the same room three times in a row is freaky. yet, they don't say third time's a charm for nothing.) ashton got in the bed behind luke, being that luke was the little spoon. ashton wrapped his arm around luke's waist and pulled him flush to his chest. luke tangled their legs together as he intertwined his fingers with ashton's.

"goodnight, ashton." luke turned his head to give ashton a chaste kiss. "goodnight, baby." luke smiled and turned back around.

the two went to sleep, relatively happy and very content. but, underneath all the happiness and the contentment and the pretending, the two were breaking. they may have been basking in each other's pretend love now - basically ashton's pretend love - they still had to face reality when they woke up the next day. they knew that; as much as they didn't want to know that, they did. and that's why they were going to enjoy the time they had left together, and hope for the best the next day.

**Author's Note:**

> i hoped you liked it :-)


End file.
